It’s not even 1pm in Oregon right now and I’m sitting in the Boston, Logan airport waiting for my flight to come in. Time here…. 3:48. I’ve got another hour and 25 minutes until I get on the plane, of course that’s providing that it’s coming in without issues. It’s raining here and some flights aren’t able to make it in. When I checked they said my flight was still coming so that’s good news. It’s sort of fun to be here and watch all the people. There are a ton and a half business men in their suits running from one flight to another. I love people watching. I also get to watch the flights come in and leave from this terminal that’s sort of fun but at the same time I’m wishing I was on one of them so I could get home. You know I added it all up and from the time I leave here to the time I get into Portland will be 9 hours, that’s REAL hours, without the time change. Argh!!!

I didn’t get a chance, this time, to even head into the city. Sitting here, looking out at the skyline is about as close as I got to Boston. Being here kept me busy. I like busy but I’m also ready to get home. I can’t wait to see Eric and Baylee.. oh and yeah, the cats. I know I’m going to get on the plane and crash once I get comfy. I think this will be the last trip until Arizona in December. That’s fine with me. I don’t mind traveling but it’s nice to go home. I think you appreciate home more. You know, things like your husband, you bed, a shower with water pressure, good food, and dare I say going to the gym. Yeah, I miss even that.

Boston is an interesting place, well actually I was in Hudson and Marlbrough. There is NOT a coffee place to be found. I mean there are Dunkin Doughnuts, but that’s NOT the same as a Starbucks or something. I had to laugh when I asked at the front desk and found the closest Starbucks was 4 miles away. That would never be the case in Washington or Oregon. I’m sitting here enjoying my first Starbucks of the trip. I can’t believe I went without a latte or anything for a whole 5 days. I mean, I did have yucky coffee but none of the good stuff.

Well, I think I’m going to log off, get a snack and read.

Today I come to work and one of my co-workers sends me this link to market watch. Intel News I can’t tell you how great that this comes out, right before the weekend and a three day weekend at that.

Part of me is a little freaked out but at this point it’s all speculation. Honestly, it’s not like I can do anything about what happens. Our CEO is supposed to talk to us all on Tuesday so we’ll see then. I’m guessing he’ll either confirm or deny the rumor and tell us how many jobs will be cut. I just hope it’s not like the first 1,000 managers that got cut. They only got two weeks to clear out their office. I guess we’ll see. I suppose I should be really freaked and worried but whatever happens, I’ll deal with it and move on. If worse comes to worse I can always take contractor jobs for a while or something. (OK, this is me trying to be rational and not freak out)

I’ve been thinking about the whole “stay at Intel, leave Intel thing”. I think I’ve decided I’m going to stay, at least for now. I get the distinct feeling from my manager that a promo may be in my future, if I stick to things and keep working hard. SO I’ll give this company another year. I mean if I give another year I get a sabbatical, fully vested in my 401K and hopefully a promo. If I don’t get the promos and a SIGNIFICANT pay increase, then I think I have reason to look outside the company. I think a lot of my unhappiness lately is in direct correlation to the fact that I don’t know if I’ll still have a job here or not, but all signs point to the fact that I will, have my job still.

Today I had another phone interview with another company, The Standard. The job sounds good and the opportunities sort of cool. Basically I would be managing the elearning materials for a division of Standard however, there were some things to think about. First, the top of the pay scale for the position is 65K, which doesn’t excited me. Second, the employees don’t have laptops to do their work, they’re trying to get them but they’ve got slow desktop computers. The guy I interviewed with used to work for Intel and he basically told me that a lot of what I have at Intel, I won’t find there in the way of tools, programs, equipment, etc. They don’t even have a methodology for integrating a person. Third, and here’s the kicker… he tells me “gosh, I hate to ask this but I really have to based on the feedback others have shared with me…” I tell him to just cut to the chase… He responds with, “OK, so I went poking around on your site beyond the portfolio examples you gave and found both your blogs, can you tell me what the purpose of those blogs is/are?” So I tell him, then the kicker question, “Well I noticed that there are typos, grammar errors and word usage errors on your blogs, is that an indication of your lack of attention to detail?” My first reaction was to say something but I joked and said something like “What are you looking at that for? That wasn’t included in my portfolio” Then I tell him that I consider my blog a free writing space. I mean I want to capture my thoughts and not loose them because I’m worried about word usage or a dangling participle. Sheesh… give me a break!!! Do I now need to watch every word I type and ensure that anything I say in the blog space is grammatically correct? Do I need to break out my English books every time? I don’t think so. He’s asked me to go in for a face to face interview new week but I think I’m going to pass. I think I’ll just buckle down, get to it at work and kick some butt so they have no choice but to promo me, give me a raise, etc.

Ok, I know this will come as a shock to many people but I don’t always do well with dealing with the unknown. Right now the unknown is my job and my life at Intel. I won’t find out for another three weeks, or so, if my job is saved and if I’ll still be employed. That whole idea has me a little freaked out, NO, a lot freaked out. I mean I’m pretty sure that I’ll still have a job but the better question is do I want a job at Intel. Honestly, I don’t know. I keep going back and forth one minute determined to “stick it to the man and take control of the situation and leave” then the next minute I think, “but I could cut my nose to spite my face”. I mean we all know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Maybe this is my time to strengthen myself. Maybe this is my cue to exit stage left like the do in the cartoons. I don’t know. I don’t know a lot right now and.. IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!

Today I found out the job at GE I applied for they really liked me but they’re offering the job to someone internally first and then if that person doesn’t take it, I’m next in line. I applied for another job with The Standard, formerly Standard Insurance, and have a phone interview tomorrow. This woman from Bank of America and I have been playing phone tag the last two days and she’s said she wants to interview me too. I suppose we’ll see.

This whole situation is just making me crazy. I hate it. I hate the not knowing. I hate it all. I had a meeting with my manager today and we talked about my projects and how things are going. I finally told her I was looking for other opportunities outside Intel because life here is pretty sad and the place is driving me nuts. I was really surprised by her reaction. You know I thought she could have either gotten really irritated, or had the attitude of “don’t let the door kick you on the way out” but she had neither. Her attitude was one of being helpful. She said that she would hate to loose me and she knew it was bad for everyone right now and that uncertainty is awful. She also said that if I was looking at other companies when they made me an offer she’s get with me and we’d compare it to what I get at Intel because she wanted to make sure I got what I deserved and that I made an objective decision rather than emotion, which is what a lot of people are operating on right now. It was nice to have that support. Of course it makes me think about everything all over again. I mean I know I haven’t gotten an offer yet but I need to sort of have a plan if I do. I know the amount I will accept and I know the package I want as far as insurance, etc but do I really want to leave? I mean there are some many things that do suck but DO THEY REALLY? I mean, companies are companies and there’s no perfect job. If I leave and go to another company it will take me years to reestablish myself in that company. Part of me thinks I just need to change my attitude a little, ride this wave out and look forward to the beginning of the year. I mean I’ve made it very clear on Numerous occasions to my manager that I wanted a promo, and I think I’m getting close. I just don’t want to blow it all because of a tough 6 months.

Gosh I hate this… I hate what this situation is doing.

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted and to be honest it’s because I feel torn in many directions right now and some days I’m not sure what end is up. I’ve put my name in the hat for several jobs around Portland. I’m feeling pretty good about the opportunities and new horizons that might open up for me. It’s very empowering to know that the skills I have are sought by other companies and I have some choices. I like all the companies I’ve applied for recently. They’ve all got different opportunities and they’re looking for different things. I do hope one of them works out because I’m ready to go. I’m ready to work for a company that values it’s employees, where relationships matter, where getting the work done, and done well matters. I just want to hear. One of the jobs I’ve interviewed for, another one I got an email and they wanted to see my samples. I was able to direct them to my portfolio but I haven’t heard from them yet, but they just asked yesterday. SO we’ll keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

On another note, our garden is going gang buster, we’ve got tomatoes to pick every day. Eric’s got a TON of eggplant and the little seedlings I planed are coming up so we should have some new lettuce and carrots and I don’t know what else. I got all signed up for the scrapbooking convention in November, I can’t wait for that. It will be fun to go with Julie again this year. I love going, it’s like our annual ritual. I’ve also been getting a lot of pages scrapbooked and have realized that much of last years pictures, I didn’t journal the even then so now I’m coming up with something now, which just isn’t as good so I need to get better and journaling for that stuff. Eric is working like crazy this weekend at the winery so I get to do whatever over the weekend. I think I’m going to build a few more eLearning courses so I have them in my “bag of tricks”.