I can’t believe it’s been a month since I got laid off from Intel. OK well not officially a month as I just signed the papers on the 26th of October but it’s been a while. I’ve been looking for jobs and interviewing a lot. It’s nice to know that I’ve got the skills to get a good job. I really think it’s going to come down to timing. I have a few things in the hopper and hopefully one of them will come through. Having this time off has been nice but I’m starting to get restless. I mean I do have projects around the house to do from home improvement things to quilting, sewing or scrapbooking stuff but I’m loosing interest in getting them all done. I’m starting to get cagey.

I realize that I love working. I love being busy and feeling the sense of getting things done for people. I’m sort of missing the job satisfaction right now and the thought of being unemployed until possible the end of the year drives me nuts. I can’t even imagine. I mean I’ve been running errands and been out of the house but being in a state of suspended animation is hard to deal with.

The good thing is that this weekend we’re heading north to Ellensburg. Julie and I are going to the scrapbook convention this year. I love going there every year, we’ve been doing it for several years. It’s nice to have our special event every year. After that, it’s back to applying for jobs, interviews and getting Christmas gifts done. Maybe I’ll come back with a renewed sense and just “knock things out”.

Well, it’s been ten days since I got the notice that I’m getting laid off. It’s been an interesting ten days some good, a few bad but over all good. In the last ten days I’ve gotten a lot of projects done at home which feel really really great! I finally got the garage done mostly the way I wanted so it’s all clean and neat and I can really use it to quilt and do other projects. I’ve been cleaning the house a bit too, keeping the laundry done and I think the most fun, making dinners for Eric. It’s been really nice to take this time, take a break from everything and get some distance on the environment at work.

You know I’ve been thinking a lot about my work in the last 6 years and being shown the door, so to speak for a company that I’ve given a lot to. On some level I am upset, I mean who wants to loose their job because of “efficiency efforts”. Honestly though, I’m fine with it. I really feel like I got the better end of the deal. I have a great opportunity to expand my opportunities and work for another company and do the things I like and learn new things too. I’m not too worried about finding a job at the moment because I’ve been getting calls every day from companies wanting to interview and talk to me. A few are contracted jobs but most are permanent jobs. It’s actually exciting to look at the different options out there. I’ll keep you updated on things when I know more but right now it’s the phone interview stage and a few face-to-face interviews.

The support, kindness and offers for help have been AMAZING! I think it’s times like this that you really know who your friends are and who your support system is. I so appreciate the phone calls, emails and IM’s to see how we’re doing. Honestly, I really think we should be fine. I’ve got opportunities here in Portland and Eric’s working for a great company so things couldn’t be better. OK a full time job for me would be good but I’m sure that will come with time.

So reality is setting in and I’ve finally read the package. It is a little demoralizing getting laid off but the package I get is pretty sweet so I’ll take a little vacation for the rest of the month and then once I get my package I’ll start looking for work. The nice thing is that I don’t really have to look for work for 4 months. I think it’s going to be nice to have some time to vacation, take a little time to get some distance from all this crap and do some things I’ve been meaning to do. Today I got my food handlers card and then I’m going to take the OLCC course so I have my liquor server licence and then I can help Eric when he needs it. I’ve got a ton of pictures to scan and tag, quilts to make and other “goodies”. The scrapbook convention is in November so that should be a good break too.

What’s been so wonderful is the outpouring of support from the people that matter. You know some times you feel like you don’t make a difference or you don’t have a lot of friends but I realize in times like this that there are a lot of people out there that support and love me. Thanks to you all….

It is with sadness and …. Ok a little excitement… that I tell you all I got laid off today. Effective today I am no longer a part of my training group. As of October 26,2006 I will no longer work of Intel as they have laid me off. I still need to read the severance package and everything (it only happened a few hours ago) but yeah. I won’t be working for Intel.. And so the story goes….

Ok, I know this will come as a shock to many people but I don’t always do well with dealing with the unknown. Right now the unknown is my job and my life at Intel. I won’t find out for another three weeks, or so, if my job is saved and if I’ll still be employed. That whole idea has me a little freaked out, NO, a lot freaked out. I mean I’m pretty sure that I’ll still have a job but the better question is do I want a job at Intel. Honestly, I don’t know. I keep going back and forth one minute determined to “stick it to the man and take control of the situation and leave” then the next minute I think, “but I could cut my nose to spite my face”. I mean we all know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Maybe this is my time to strengthen myself. Maybe this is my cue to exit stage left like the do in the cartoons. I don’t know. I don’t know a lot right now and.. IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!

Today I found out the job at GE I applied for they really liked me but they’re offering the job to someone internally first and then if that person doesn’t take it, I’m next in line. I applied for another job with The Standard, formerly Standard Insurance, and have a phone interview tomorrow. This woman from Bank of America and I have been playing phone tag the last two days and she’s said she wants to interview me too. I suppose we’ll see.

This whole situation is just making me crazy. I hate it. I hate the not knowing. I hate it all. I had a meeting with my manager today and we talked about my projects and how things are going. I finally told her I was looking for other opportunities outside Intel because life here is pretty sad and the place is driving me nuts. I was really surprised by her reaction. You know I thought she could have either gotten really irritated, or had the attitude of “don’t let the door kick you on the way out” but she had neither. Her attitude was one of being helpful. She said that she would hate to loose me and she knew it was bad for everyone right now and that uncertainty is awful. She also said that if I was looking at other companies when they made me an offer she’s get with me and we’d compare it to what I get at Intel because she wanted to make sure I got what I deserved and that I made an objective decision rather than emotion, which is what a lot of people are operating on right now. It was nice to have that support. Of course it makes me think about everything all over again. I mean I know I haven’t gotten an offer yet but I need to sort of have a plan if I do. I know the amount I will accept and I know the package I want as far as insurance, etc but do I really want to leave? I mean there are some many things that do suck but DO THEY REALLY? I mean, companies are companies and there’s no perfect job. If I leave and go to another company it will take me years to reestablish myself in that company. Part of me thinks I just need to change my attitude a little, ride this wave out and look forward to the beginning of the year. I mean I’ve made it very clear on Numerous occasions to my manager that I wanted a promo, and I think I’m getting close. I just don’t want to blow it all because of a tough 6 months.

Gosh I hate this… I hate what this situation is doing.